Asian Women Apologize Too Much & That’s A Problem
We’re sorry we have to ask this, but are women guilty of apologizing more than we’d like to admit?
We find it difficult to say “no” without apologizing, we apologize when we take too long to get ready, and sometimes, we say “sorry” when there’s nothing to apologize for at all.
If you begin to notice, women tend to apologize more than the vast majority of men. When women bump into men, guess which gender tends to apologize more profusely? How have we become the more apologetic gender and how can be stop ourselves from saying the “S” word too often?
The reasons why women apologize more
Women tend to apologize more because we’re concerned about others’ emotions and we’re conditioned to promote harmony in relationships, whether we know the person or not. In other words, women apologize to be pleasant. Plus, we have been conditioned to appear demure and polite, and we have been taught that apologizing is one way to do that.Both men and women will apologize when they perceive that they’ve done something wrong, but women have a lower threshold for what we think warrants an apology.
How does apologizing too much affect you
When you apologize too much, especially when you’re not supposed to, you’re essentially apologizing for your very existence. We say “sorry” when we’re uncomfortable and unsure, which can make interacting with other people pretty awkward. Along with apologies come awkward pauses, the downcast eyes, and the general jumpy behavior. We need to put a stop to this, and stand up for ourselves.
Apologize only when you really mean it
If you find that you apologize too much, record down how many times you’ve said “I’m sorry” in a journal, for the duration of one day. Then, mark the ones in which you really meant the apology and start saying “thank you” instead of apologizing. For example, you can say “thank you for being patient,” instead of “sorry to keep you waiting.” The former makes people feel appreciated more than the latter. Before you open your mouth to apologize, think about what you’re saying. If it’s not worth apologizing for, just say nothing at all.
You don’t have to apologize for everything, darlings. Pick your battles and apologize only when you really need to.