Why Are Asian Moms Afraid To Say “I Love You”?

I LOVE YOU. It is the three letter word that Asians are so afraid to say out loud. Why? Compared to the Westerns, saying those words is as easy as saying, “I love ice-cream”. Even if we’re okay with saying it, there’s still this thought in the head on what if your doesn’t say it back?

And because our moms don’t say it often to us, it kind of feels awkward to say it out of the blue, ain’t it? Just ask a friend when’s the last time their parents uttered “I love you”!

Asian moms are more reserved when it comes to their feelings

Asians are generally more conservative compared to Westerns. Perhaps, it’s the same case when it comes to showing emotions. It’s even a rare sight to see our moms expressing love to our dads! According to Dr Paul Wong Wai-ching, associate professor of the department of social work and social administration at the University of Hong Kong mentioned that it’s not stereotypically natural for Asians to be open about their feelings, especially those of love. Wish they were more reserved in scolding us too!

They prefer to communicate through actions

Dr Paul also particularly states that in the Chinese culture, “Chinese tend to communicate feelings through actions. Communication is often done in non-verbal ways, such as holding hands or cuddling, as these are considered to be more important and effective.”

Which is sort of true even for others, our moms would express love by forcing us to eat more and getting us to come home early from work!

Afraid of lowering their ego 

Personally, I think there’s just something about Asian moms and their egos. For some reason Asian mom are always depicted as scary, strict, tigresses. It is this image that they have to hold for us to look up. Perhaps showing any emotion of love or expressing it verbally would somehow make them appear soft and to less afraid of them.

But all that momma’ fierceness slowly fades away when we’ve grown up. Which also means, our moms are aging too. Life is too short and unpredictable. Don’t let awkwardness of saying I love you stop you from telling it to her. You may never get the chance to if you wait.


  • Anon


    That’s why Asian women are desirable because they are usually submissive, silent, and don’t express feelings since they are taught that it is unfeminine and that men can only do that.

    24 June 2019