T.I. Publicly Revealed That He Takes His Daughter For Yearly “Virginity Checks”; Here’s Her Emotional Response
There’s a multitude of things wrong in this story. The fact that:
- T.I. made his daughter go for tests to check that she’s still a virgin.
- He went with her.
- He talked about it in an interview knowing that it’s an embarrassing issue for his daughter.
On their new VH1 show, ‘T.I. & Tiny: Friends and Family Hustle’, their 19-year-old daughter, Deyjah Harris, spoke about what happened after the rapper talked about making “yearly trips to the gynaecologist to find whether her hymen had been broken” A.K.A if she was still a virgin. Addressing the situation, a tearful Harris opens up to her cousins on learning that her father spoke publicly about the situation while on vacation with her family.
During a confessional, Harris says of the ordeal,
Things are completely uncomfortable for me right now. We’re all together in this house, so I have to see my Dad and be around him. And we’re in a foreign country so it’s not like I can leave and get away.”
She says that she learned that her dad had spoken about it while scrolling through Twitter. After seeing that she had been tagged in a post, she shared that her “heart sank” and she felt “very shocked, hurt, angry, embarrassed” despite not reading the entire post. All she saw was the word, ‘gynaecologist’ and she knew what had happened. She tells her cousins,
I mean, honestly, I’m embarrassed definitely for sure. I’m trying to put it in the back of my mind so I’m not really thinking about it. I know it’s not healthy. But I’ve been doing that since I was a child.”
She tells her cousins that her famous dad had been accompanying her to the gynaecologist for a while, since she was in her teens (“14 or 15”), and that she “couldn’t have said no”.
This problem with this whole debacle is linked to the age-old concept that “female virginity” is important and is linked to a hymen (a small, tissue paper-like membrane just inside the opening to the vagina) that is intact. However, it has been proven time and time again that the condition of one’s hymen does not indicate whether or not you are a virgin. The concept that if you bleed after sex, you’ve just had your “cherry popped” and thus you are no longer a virgin holds no scientific ground. The reality is that your hymen has nothing to do with sexual activity because it is just as easy for it to be broken while you’re going about your daily activities (horseback riding, biking, gymnastics, using tampons, fingering, and masturbation) or even for you to be born without a hymen, as reiterated by Alexandra Eisler, a health and sex educator from Healthy Teen Network.
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Believe it or not, there are women going under the knife for “hymen restorative surgeries.” • • “Contrary to popular belief, the hymen is not a flat piece of tissue covering the vagina, which is punctured during intercourse. If it were, girls would not be able to menstruate before they lose their virginity because there would be no outlet for menstrual blood.” • • “Usually, the hymen looks like a fringe of tissue around the vaginal opening. It is not an intact piece of tissue draped across it. Some girls are born without a hymen, others have only a scanty fringe of tissue.”(Our Bodies Ourselves) • • Many children with vulvas disrupt their hymen during childhood play and never notice the loose tissue! • • While many traditions emphasize the hymen as a symbol of virginity, there are many forms of sex that are just as intimate (if not more, for some) than penetrative, penis-in-vagina, heteronormative sex. • • Let’s try to change the language from “virginity” to a much, more sex positive “sexual debut”🌈💕. • • #hymen #virginity #humansexuality #bettersexed #sexmeducation #sexmedicine #orgasmscience #medschool #medstudent #premedlife #premed #medstudentlife #sexpositive #sexpositiveeducation #sexeducator #sexscience #menstruation #lgbtqsexed #lgbtqsexuality #lgbtqsexualhealth
T.I. has previously addressed the backlash and criticism he received for his comments about Deyjah’s virginity, even going on an episode of Red Table Talk in November 2019 with Jada Pinkett Smith to talk about what happened.
I came to clear up any misconceptions that have been surrounding how we interact and parent and what is appropriate and inappropriate. I told a joke that was laced in truth, also [with] a lot of major embellishments.”
He also clarified that these trips were made when she was younger, just as Harris said in the video, and at the time, T.I. says that both Harris and her mother – singer Ms. Niko – had no objections to him being there.
She did have a problem with me talking about it, however, and I understand that, and I am incredibly apologetic to her for that.”
In the aftermath of this, Harris said of her relationship with her dad,
I need more time to figure out what I want to say, but things are completely awkward and uncomfortable between me and my Dad. Prior to all of this happening, our relationship was pretty decent, but after all of this, it’s changed, honestly.”
*Cover image credits: Harris: T.I. & Tiny: Friends & Family Hustle by VH1 on Youtube T.I.: T.I. on Instagram