Real Talk: Can You Be In Love With Two People At The Same Time?

The highly anticipated sequel to the Netflix hit To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before took us by surprise and it tackles an age-old question: Is it possible to be in love with two people at the same time? 

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In case you forgot—or haven’t caught up with the movie yet [spoilers alert]—To All The Boys: P.S. I Still Love You, main character Lara Jean Covey is in a loving, committed relationship with Peter Kavinsky. And yet… a past fling keeps popping up, making her question her feelings. 

Sure, you might think that if you were truly in love with someone, you wouldn’t be able to have feelings for someone else. But sometimes this can actually happen—and it can be emotionally draining, as your heart gets pulled in two directions.

Love is a choice. You don’t ‘fall’ in love. You choose to open your heart and see the beauty, the vulnerability, allow your guard to drop and your heart to open, and give yourself permission to feel and be in a state of love

The short answer is.. Yes. Yes you definitely can. You can be in love with one person because of who you see and honor in them, while simultaneously being in love with another for their very different yet equally resonant being. To make it more understandable, someone might bring out your confident, sexy side and you’ll love them for it. A second person might make you feel safe, loved and deeply connected, and you’ll also fall for that person. 

That being said, love is a choice. You don’t ‘fall’ in love. Instead, you choose to open your heart and see the beauty, feel the vulnerability, allow your guard to drop and your heart to open, and give yourself permission to feel and be in a state of love. Therefore, if you are in love with one person, it is up to you to choose to turn your red light on and turn yourself off to the possibility of being open to letting someone else in.

Though, there’s an old saying that says, “If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn’t have fallen for the second one.’’

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