Phubbing, The Reason Why You Keep Breaking Up
There are a lot of dating buzzwords – from ghosting, benching, gaslighting and now, phubbing. Sounds like a nasty word huh, but we’re pretty sure you’re guilty of this crime.
What is phubbing?
Phubbing comes from the combination of words of ‘phoning’ and ‘snubbing’. Basically, it refers to you ignoring your partner when you’re “busy” with your phone. It is a common phenomenon to feel the need to check our social media and reply messages when we’re out with our partner and friends.
But just because it’s a common thing to do, is it harmless too?
If you’re guilty of phubbing, your relationship could be in trouble. According to the research done by Baylor University in Texas, out of 143 people, 70% of them felt that phones were coming in between them and their partner.
The researchers behind the study, Dr. James Roberts and Dr. Meredith David said, “The presence and use of cell phones are ever-increasing, causing the boundaries that separate our work and other interests from our romantic relationships to become more and more blurred…”
The added, “Developing the self-control to put away your cell phone in favour of meaningful, distraction-free interactions with your romantic partner will yield benefits that far outweigh that one missed call, unread email, or unchecked listing.”
Phubbing can do some serious damage to your relationship. Think about it, have you ever fought with your S.O for being engrossed with your phone?
Are you PHUBBING someone?
"Phubbing, aka the act of ignoring the person you're with and staring at your phone instead, is a uniquely 2019 problem. Be honest, you've phubbed before. And maybe even regularly! Most of us are guilty of it. https://t.co/Wk0T8Jl7Ax
— Valeria (@ValeriaSouDaPaz) June 29, 2019
1. Make you less connected
Texting during a conversation can make the talk less satisfying and definitely, less meaningful. The study published in Computers in Human Behaviour in 2016 also discovered just the mere presence of a cell phone during a conversation was enough to make people feel less connected to each other. Better to keep your phone out of sight, yes – not on the table – the next time you have a conversation.
2. Your mental health could be at stake
Studies have found that spouses who phub each other are more likely to experience depression and lower marital satisfaction. Probably because they feel that their partner is prioritising something else other than the conversation. That can sometimes be an annoyance and hurtful especially when you’re trying to have a deep conversation.
Besides that, phubbing also threatens the four “fundamental needs” – belongingness, self-esteem, meaningful existence and control. When you phubbed, you make others feel excluded and outcasted.
3. It basically causes more hurt than good – even to YOU
Sure, the person being snubbed will definitely get hurt but guess what, so does the phubber! A study discovered that people who used their phones while dining with friends or family were found to enjoy their meal less and felt more distracted than those who didn’t use their mobiles.
Looks like your mama made sense for scolding you every time you used your phone during dinners!