No, You Don’t Need Closure From Your Ex: Just Move On
We’ve all been in one of those situations where we called it “the almost relationship.” You know, where you sort of date this person and you think things go by pretty smoothly and then all of the sudden nothing happens? You can’t necessarily call it a breakup because you weren’t “together,” but you still need closure. They leave you confused as hell.
I mean even if you’re in an exclusive, serious relationship, breakups can happen without warning. Pretty sure a lot of you have been both the victim and the offender in these situations, so the term “closure” is quite familiar to this generation, I must say.
We get it, after a tragic loss or traumatic breakup, we’d all like to believe there’s a way to turn off the pain switch and get back to normal life, ‘’If only we both could sit down and figure the problem together’’, ‘’We do love each other, maybe we just need more clarity?’’ and many more endless excuses. Yeah, that kind of closure. The thing is, that closure you’re looking for? It does not exist. In fact—according to psychologists—by searching for permanent closure to emotional pain, they say, we are closing ourselves off to healthier ways of processing difficult experiences.
Your past will always be your past, and it’s important to appreciate the past because it molds you into the person you are and the person you will become
You theorize in your head a million different reasons why that person just didn’t want to be with you or why it just didn’t work out. When in truth, most of the time, the real reason the relationship didn’t work out is probably something you are better off not hearing or knowing.
Closure can be mean; it can be nasty, hurtful and regressive. Your past will always be your past, and it’s important to appreciate the past because it molds you into the person you are and the person you will become. But, the past essentially doesn’t exist anymore; all of your power and purpose is in this present moment, and dragging problems from the past is only bringing you down. You didn’t get closure? Guess what? It’s time to move on.