Millennials Give New Meanings To Roses & It’s Not What You Think

Roses are red, but do they really mean romance in this day and age?

Well, guess what, red roses – you don’t get to be “romance” any more, according to millennials who are gleefully taking over the world with their terrible new ideas and avocado toast.

Ladies, it’s clearly time to update your boyfriend with the new, millennial meaning of roses based on colour. Hopefully, he won’t get you the wrong one.

1. Yellow is for “friends with benefits.”

While yellow used to mean “cheerful” in the post-millennial era, yellow roses don’t get to tell us what to do any more. Yellow does stand for being carefree, though. Who needs to commit to marriage right away when you can have great sex? Celebrate with yellow roses if you manage to find someone you can vibe with in bed, but won’t ever marry. Get wet, get yellow roses, if you know what we mean.

2. Pink is for “I know I said I love you, but I was just being nice.”

Hell yeah, you were. What is love when it isn’t love? It’s kind of mild, maybe a soft pastel pink – a sign that is neither subtle nor strong because you want to “be nice.” Pink roses are for the person you bring to prom, and he thinks you’re on a date, but you already have a boyfriend who isn’t in the same university. It’s the ideal choice for your aunt on Mother’s Day so she doesn’t feel left out.

3. Red is for “I don’t know how romance works, but I read Nicholas Sparks.”

Red roses are for when you really don’t know how romance works, but hey, if it works in the books and movies, it’s gotta work for me. Red roses may still be romantic and all, but unless it’s your ultimate favourite flower, it’s not the most creative option. Still, if you’re thinking about someone and you want to send them a gift to say “Hey, I’m thinking of you, but I don’t really love you & don’t know what to get,” it’s time to bring out the reds. But you know what – you can do so much better than this!

4. White is for the last time you had spiritual sex

Not a funeral flower any more, but still – just about as spiritual. When the sex is so good that it touches the very core of your soul, you’ll know it’s heavenly enough to receive a bouquet of white roses. Granted, your bouquet won’t be royalty standard, but at least you’ll remember that time with the most meaningful orgasm ever with a bunch of ivory beauties. Mhmm.

Of course, receiving roses (and any kind of flowers, really) from your man really shows how much he’s willing to splurge on you! Send him some of these hints that we, the millennials of Likely, have duly recommended. FYI we may get an affiliate commission if you buy something from these links.

Thanks for the sex & I’m sorry we’ll never marry: Yellow roses from Flower Advisor

Thank you for your time but I don’t love you 3000: Pink roses from Happy Bunch

Thank you for dating me & btw, let’s watch a rerun of “Me Before You”: Red roses from BloomThis

Thank you for the heaven-sent sex: White roses & matthiolas from BloomThis

COMMENTS
  • Dennis

    REPLY

    Finally I understand how to choose flowers.

    23 June 2019
POST A COMMENT