Here’s What The Infamous “It’s Not You, It’s Me” Really Means

At every breakup, there is this one line that’s overused, but we rarely decipher what it really means.

It’s not you, it’s me.

It’s possible for you to think the worst when your ex says this. Were you not good enough for him? What went wrong in the relationship?

Before you get down in the dumps, let’s learn about the real meaning behind the infamous breakup line.

Your ex did not want to commit

Yep, it’s totally his fault. Usually, when people say “it’s not you, it’s me,” it means that the breakup is really something to do with them. Perhaps they did not want to commit to just one person. There is no solid reason for the breakup, but not wanting to be in one is reason enough. At least your ex was honest about it then and had the emotional maturity to end the relationship.

Your ex-partner did not share the same values with you

Even though there’s nothing wrong with your personal values, perhaps your ex did not see eye-to-eye with how you perceived the world. In a relationship, it’s important to have values that align so that you can see a future together (which we will get to in a moment).

It’s really NOT you, it’s them

When your ex says this, believe him. When someone says it’s not you, it probably wasn’t you. Shouldering the responsibility would make your ex feel better about the breakup, and in a way, you should feel better too. It wasn’t you, darling. It was them.