Unfriend Day: Ghosted By Your Best Friend & It Freaking Hurts
Have you ever been ghosted before? As we all know, the most common form of ghosting is probably by a lover. However, have you ever been ghosted by a friend?
Basically, ghosting is when someone disappears out of sudden without any contact and explanation. No phone call or text, which kind of leaves you in an awkward, confused position because you haven’t had the slightest idea on what happened. As a result, this will also make you vulnerable to be in the next relationship because you’re fearful of being ghosted by heartless jerks.
What’s worse, if your own best friend ghosted you. Someone you’ve shared stories and secrets with, your soul sister, that one person who knows the good and bad in you — and without any reason, turn away from you.
Harder than breaking up with a partner
Perhaps that friend went away to study abroad, and you both vowed to keep in touch no matter what, but as time passes, it wasn’t an easy thing to do. On another note, this could also happen to those who’ve been hanging out on a daily basis, only to find the other MIA, as she stopped returning your calls and texts, or even started hanging out with your enemies. Bitch.
The emotional effects from ghosting can be devastating and damaging to those who already have insecurities and low self-esteem. The feelings of loss and betrayed by a friend is just as real as any romantic breakup. More so because it’s the best friend you run to when you’ve gone through a horrible relationship or when you’ve had a bad day and just need some sisterly moral support.
It makes sense if you and a friend fought, to which you both end up staying away from each other. However, when nothing bad (that you’re aware of) has happened, you can’t help but to feel lost.
There’s no conclusion to the situation and will inevitably send you into a spiral of “what now?”. You browse through memories on social media, photos of which reminded you of some of the crazy days the both of you had. Then there’s the stalking, and questioning of mutual friends. A typical break up routine, except that this time is with your soul sister, and it hurts, a lot.
But how do you cope after a friend ditches you?
Breathe. For the most of us, our initial reaction is to lash out hurtful words out of anger. But keep in mind that you deserve nothing but the best in any kind of relationship. If that friend can’t treat you right, then maybe it wasn’t true friendship after all.
You can always be the first to reach out, let that friend know how much you miss her. But if that still don’t work, let go and find new friendship elsewhere. It may take time to trust someone new but nothing is meant to last forever.
The best you can do is to learn to let go, receive and repeat. Focus your energy on doing things that you love. Think about what you want to be and make friends from people who have the same interests as you. If you’re into yoga, take up yoga class and soon, you’ll meet new yogi buddies to hang around with.
a) Just a phase
Listen, if you ever find yourself in this situation, remind yourself that it is not the end of the world. You may be confused or angry at first, but in time, you will realise that everything happens for a reason and that it’s just not meant to be. She’s probably just a phase. Meant to be there for you at a certain time in your life, until one of you phased out and grew to be another person with new friends.
b) They’re scared of confrontation
When people talk about being selfish, ghosting is one of the time that they would do so. It means the friend either does not have the energy, emotional readiness, time, or ability to confront the person they are ghosting. So, perhaps it’s not your fault that your friend doesn’t want to settle the issues, ’cause they are simply choosing themselves over talking it out with you.
c) Something else is going on in their life
That being said, sometimes, it’s easier to judge a situation when you don’t know what’s going on at the other end of the line. Your friend might feel like they don’t have the energy to communicate their feelings to you because of something else that’s going on in their life. In this case, give her time to breathe. Maybe someday, she will come back to you.