“Stop Arguing About Where To Eat” – Couple Therapists
As you’re all aware, every couple would have their moment of clashing interests or ways of doing things — it’s inevitable. But have you realised how fighting could also strengthen your understanding with each other at the same time?
Interestingly, researchers say that fighting is another way to bring couples closer, although we can all agree that there are those unnecessary fights which can do more harm than good. When things gets too heated, just drop it. You should always draw a line between constructive criticism and downright toxic ego battle. Remember, your tongue can be sharper than a knife.
According to relationship expert Vanessa Marin and sex therapist Dr.Liz Powell, these are some of the common couple fights that you should stop having in 2019:
1. Stop keeping tabs and score
This means that you keep count of each others’ activities, which is basically the whole “I did it the last time” game. Especially when it comes to everyday tasks from getting the bills to doing house chores. If you do this often, you have to stop right now. Not only is it unhealthy but in the long run, it could also take a toll on your marriage life. In any case, if you love someone, do it with a sincere heart and don’t keep score.
2. Stop expecting your partner to read your mind
Some us of think that if we’ve been with a person for a long time, they should know us, like really know us better than ourselves. On top of that, we kind of expect our partner to read our minds. But guess what? They’re only human who is not equipped with mind-reading abilities! Punishing our partner for something that’s not their fault can sting. Be straight forward on what you want or perhaps give little hints. Plus, it’ll save the stress for the both of you.
3. Stop forcing your partner to have the same likes as you
Pretty sure at some point you’ve had fantasies of being one of those hot gym-freak or insta-perfect couples who take flawless photos — oh yeah, we can thank Google and social media for that. But for the most of us living in a realistic world, not everyone will find someone who has all the exact same interests as you. For example, you might be a gym junkie but your partner may not. So, expecting your partner to constantly follow you to the gym even though you know they wouldn’t enjoy it is pretty selfish. We can only foresee how horrible that workout session must be for the both of you. Don’t pressure or guilt-trip your S.O. into doing something they don’t enjoy. Instead, find a mutual interest!
4. Stop avoiding conflicts
Something we can all relate to, is not confronting each other after a fight. In fact, we’ll just go to sleep with an angry heart and ignore it till the next day, maybe even weeks. Not only does it make you both intensely stressed, but you would also tend to keep everything in your heart which might just burst at the very next fight. The next time you have an ugly argument with your partner, talk it out.
5. Stop arguing over where to eat.
We have all been there. Having foolish arguments that stem from both of you being incredibly uncertain on where or what you should eat until you’ve got option paralysis. This fight could strike anytime — you could be driving down the highway, pointing at various signs asking each other if you should pull over there and eventually shouting, “Well, now we’ve missed the turn and it’s too late.”