5 Simple Steps To Know Before Your First Time Having Sex

Hey, congrats!  You’ve decided to have sex for the first time. Whether you’re in your 20’s, 30’s or 40’s,  making your sexual debut can feel like a big step. Sure, we get a lot of messages from society about what “losing your virginity” should look like. But tbh, there is no “right” or ‘’wrong’’ way when it comes to having sex—all it takes is for you and your partner to have fun, exploring each other’s bodies. 

So take a deep breath. And to help ease your worriness, here are 5 simple steps to know before your first time having sex. 

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«Any day spend with you is my favorite day» Monica Bellucci and Vincent Cassel in Irreversible, 2002

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1. Decide what kind of sex you want to have? 

There are many ways to have sex. It’s not just penis-in-vagina. So it’s better for you to decide on what works for you the best. You get to decide what you do with your body and how. Do you want to try oral first? Dry-humping? Or just cuddle naked? You decide. 

2. Choose a partner that you trust and feel comfortable with

Listen. This is super important, especially for you girlies. A partner who pressures you to have sex when you don’t feel ready is not a good partner. You don’t have to be in a relationship with the first person you have sex with, but you should feel safe and comfortable around them. Afterall, this is your ‘’first’’. So make sure the experience is worth it. 

3. Discuss your boundaries

See, this is why you need to choose your ‘’first partner’’ carefully. Not only would you feel comfortable getting naked in front of them, but you also need someone who can discuss some boundaries without feeling guilty or judged. Share and be open with one another. What are your ‘no’ and ‘go’ zones? Discuss discuss discuss. 

A partner who pressures you to have sex when you don’t feel ready is not a good partner. You don’t have to be in a relationship with the first person you have sex with, but you should feel safe and comfortable around them

4. Plan for a safe sex

Do some research about which birth control suits you the best. Make sure your partner also has their condom ready. If you’re having oral sex, will you use a barrier method to protect against STIs? If you decide not to, do you know the risks and are you comfortable with them? Educate yourself, talk with your partner, and prep in advance. 

5. Just be yourself and have fun

Last but not least, let loose, have fun and just be yourself, (unless you’re into roleplaying. Then you’re free to channel your inner character). Bare in mind that it’s OK if things don’t go exactly as planned. Whatever the hiccups are, try to laugh it off and enjoy yourself. 

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