5 Realistic Truths About Love That Nobody Wants To Accept

You’d like to believe that your relationship is different from everyone else’s. We have this idea that our own relationship can beat all odds. But it’s most probably not.

Here are some of the hard to believe brutal truths about modern romance. Keep an open mind while reading this and just maybe, when you find love, it stays.

We seem to always attract people who’ll drive us crazy

Gretchen Rubin, author of “The Four Tendencies” book, she noticed that “rebels” would pair up romantically with “obligers”. Rebels are the resisters in the relationship. If you ask a rebel to do something, they’ll most likely resist.

Whereas, the obligers would conform to the outer expectations of the relationship, but not the inner ones because they’re looking for some form of external accountability.

She told the Business Insider, “If you’re an upholder, you live life according to a schedule. [For example] you never miss your daily run, and you always eat fewer than 30 grams of carbs a day, and you always go to bed by 11. It could be exciting to be swept off your feet by somebody who feels very free and not confined.”

But conflict can arise because of the two different approaches in a relationship.

The “one” most probably does not exist!

People probably aren’t as open to interracial dating as they say they are

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According to studies conducted by sociologists in the past decade, generally, only three in 10 intermarriages are successful.

Even in Malaysia, although we’re living in a country with different races, interracial marriage is still seen as complicated. For example, a marriage between a Malay and non-Malay.

Dr. Rosila Mohd Hussain, a lecturer with University Malaya’s Department of Archaeology and Sociology told NST, “Non-Malays are usually reserved in their perception of Islam. Non-Malay parents fear that their offspring, upon converting to Islam, would face hard lives because of the comparatively stricter practices called for in the religion. This includes concerns regarding the banned consumption of certain foods and alcohol, and certain religious teachings (such as husbands being allowed to take more than one wife).”

It can be a tough road for you if your partner has different values

Let’s get this straight, values are totally different from interests. For example, your partner is crazy about football but you hate it, that’s okay because he can always enjoy the match with his mates.

If you hold the importance of savings but your partner spends like there’s no tomorrow, that could be a huge problem!

Karl Pillemer, a professor of human development at Cornell University, shared the importance of shared values in his book, “30 Lessons for Loving’.

After speaking to many older individuals on the topic of shared values, it’s recommended for couples to talk about explicit discussions on core values like marriage, children, money, religion and whatever else is important to you.

There are times where you’ll feel miserable in your relationship 

Know that total happiness is hard to come by. So when there are good times, there are also bad times. There will be fights and disagreements but the key here is to always communicate. It’s all part of human nature! Talk it out and never keep things in if you want to make things work.